Damn you, Rare Earth!

Saw a big German Shepherd standing right over there,
So I rustled up a fire and cooked him medium rare.
Bar-B-Q’ed his brisket, roasted his rump,
Threw some in the freezer, threw an eyeball in a cup.

Eat a dog, eat a dog, ’cause it’s good for you,
Eat a dog, eat a dog, it’s the thing that goes ‘wooooooff’”

I prefer Pho 495 in Springfield.

“Eat dog, eat dog, eat a big old hound,
Eat dog, eat dog, there’s plenty at the pound.
Eat dog, eat dog it’s a mighty good food,
It’s a barkin’ good meal when I’m in the mood.

Friends and neighbors come from near and far,
When you throw a few chihuahuas on the fire.
Viet-Cong insurgents would eat two before a fight,
Because it gives a mighty man an awful lot of mighty might.

Eat dog, eat dog, eat a big old hound,
Eat dog, eat dog, there’s plenty at the pound.
Eat dog, eat dog it’s a mighty good food,
It’s a barkin’ good meal when I’m in the mood.”

Actually that would be disgusting. Like, they’d be on every corner and people would only use them after dark. And the money would fill them up so quickly that you’d have to hire black guys to drive around all night emptying out the money from each machine and protecting them from violent offenders. And then sometimes the vending machines would be hard to open up sometimes to get the money out, so you’d have to kick them until they stopped crying.

Yea, doesn’t sound like a lucrative career.

Regarding the food and soda machines, that’s definitely a good idea, though I prefer nachos, like the kind you get at Giant, or 7-11 in a pinch. A nacho station would be cool.