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The British Penitration

So this couple in Britain, fell in love, married, and probably consummated the relationship, had there married annulled.

Remember how fun it was to find someone with the same birthday? How about birth date? And it’s all crazy because you’re both from the same area. Then you get to talking about how you guys were both adopted. And how you always wanted a real brother or sister. Yep. Then you have sex, just because you click. Love sets in. Everything is perfect.

“I dunno. Somethng about chu. Uhhh, it’s like you da only one in da world who’s got dat same DNA as me, or something. Ya know?”

[[url=http://www.cnn.com/2008/WORLD/europe/01/11/twins.married/index.html?iref=mpstoryview]Link[/url]]

Ahhh…. Craigslist, You’ve done it again.

I’ve found some mild entertainment at craigslist:

“You so gentlemenly somehow got me in your truck after a long night of drinking. (I don’t remember). In fact, I have absolutely no recollection of the ride 45 minutes home and away from the starting location. I woke up in your truck and there was a wonderful coating of puke on me from head to toe (literally). WTF happened?!! We were parked 1 block away from my home (you didn’t know exactly where I lived) and I had no idea where I was. I was freaking out!! In a hazey memory I open the door and fall to the pavement. I lied there as I just wanted to sleep on that comfy black tar. You got out to help me but I dragged myself back in. Then, ALAS! I recognized my neighbor’s house. You pulled in my driveway and I gathered my things and stumbled out. Now, as you can imagine, I wake up full of questions with NO memory to give me answers. Kind sir, what the hell happened that night? I’ve never had such an incident since I was about 15. In fact, in all of my college years, had nothing happened like this one. The money in my bra was still intact. My pants were still neatly tucked in my brand new boots covered in vomit. My vagina wasn’t sore. So then WTF happened?!! That delightful morning I woke up naked on the floor of my bedroom with chunks in my hair and the foul smell simmering. Two weeks have passed. No memories have be recovered. However, thank you for ride home (surely it must have been a crazy one for you?!) and sorry for any chucks I left behind in your truck. Wanna go on a date sometime?”

Joe Gibbs Retires, Again

As even a shook to me, Gibbs retires with a year left on his five year contract. After a four win streak at the end of the season against top teams like the Giants, Vikings and even the Cowboys, to push them in to the playoffs, I thought for sure Gibbs saved his own ass. What’s done is done. I just hope AHC Al Saunders doesn’t become the new head coach.

I guess its back to Charolette, NC and NASCAR. After all, he is 67. Maybe it is time to retire, relax and be a grandparent.

As for those who didn’t know. Gibbs went 124-60 during the regular season and 16-5 during the playoffs during his first tenure with the Redskins. He won Super Bowls following the 1982, 1987 and 1991 seasons with three different quarterbacks.

He retired for 11 years.

During his second tenure. Gibbs came aways with a 31-36 record, with two playoff appearances.

His final career totals: 171-101, including 17-7 in the playoffs, a career .629 winning percentage that ranks third all-time behind George Halas and Don Shula among coaches with more than 125 wins.

The Brothers Solomon (2007)

It was a little better than I thought it was going to be. But I did expect a more of Duece Bigalow meets Knocked Up type movie. Some of the jokes were just easily obvious but it had it’s laughs. Lets say I wasn’t pissed after the movie ended.

The only thing that I felt the movie needed was more Lee Majors but then again, he did sign up to play the comatosed father. Plus, any movie with Chi McBride just can’t suck. He’s like the black Christopher Walken. They are like movie savers. They could remake Ishtar with McBride and Walken and it would be the baddest movie ever made. Bad meaning good.

Control (2007)

This is a black and white British movie about Joy Division but, mainly Ian Curtis. You may remember Joy Division for such hits as “Love Will Tear Us Apart” and ummm, that other one. I think mostly everyone confuses “Love Will Tear Us Apart” with The Cure.

The movie was surprisingly good. I little more lovey dovey shit than I care for but the band was only together for four years so, what else could the movie been about.

Stop reading now if you don’t know how the movie ends. The man issue I had was that it was a good movie then you realize dude dies at the age of 23. I don’t know if it was tragic or if the dude was just stupid. Granted he had his “fits” but. The band members said it was only after his death that they read his latest lyrics and were surprised they didn’t see it coming.

Would I watch it again. Maybe, it is two hours long though. I give it 7 out of 10 llamas.

Apparently, I'm incompetent

I work as AA for a wealthy homeowner’s association in Alexandria and I have recently relinquished my prestigious position and am now serving my punishment a.k.a. “two weeks”. Since giving notice of my plan to take over the world… er… ummm… quit, I couldn’t have been more reassured in my decision.

In my reinforcement, I will start by saying my desk is located under the fitness center, particularly the free-weight area, and also serves as the main reception for the pool. Great. Not only do I get fat old men in speedos, screaming kids, and constant requests for the phone number to Pizza Hut, I get to jump out of my seat every time a weight is dropped.

One of my many duties is to play receptionist and I have been forced to take on the front line position (I believe they call that “offense” in football?) and attempt to fix people’s issues before they get to my managers. I can’t even see over the freaking desk!! Since I started, a sign has been posted to explain exactly what it is I do at my desk, a name plate explaining that I am who I am, and numorous e-mail blasts have gone out posting my e-mail address as a contact. I’ve given up and asking if I can help somebody when they walk in. I just watch as they walk down the hall and watch as they walk back to ask me to help them. Idiots.

That’s all for now. Fluffer, let the fun-poking begin.

AVP-R (2007)

Haven’t seen it yet…going on Friday to see it at the Imax….I’ve spent the whole last week and a half catching up on the Aliens and Predators series’. I just hope this one doesn’t suck.

Guitar Hero????

Have any of you all played this? Again, I played this for the first time this weekend, and I was kinda impressed. I mean, I avoided the whole Guitar Hero crowd when it became popular, and now….i think I’m a groupie…..oh no! I’m going out to buy it for the 360 this weekend.