Bandwagon Caps Fans

April in DC doesn’t bring to much excitement to the city. Of course there’s the Cherry Blossoms. The weather is midly nice for a couple weeks before it heats up to 100*.

In years past, April hasn’t been referred to as a “sports month” in the District either. There’s no football going on, minus rumors. The Wizards usually aren’t in any post season contention. The Nationals, while still new to the area, aren’t topping the headlines themselves. The United are in just kicking off their season too but, no one will realize that until October.

And then there’s the Capitals. Who are pretty much always good for a Eastern Conference Quarterfinals loss ever since, well, since the Eastern Conference was formed. I’m used to them losing in the Patrick Division Semifinals.

Which brings me to my point. All you bandwagon Caps fans are annoying. Almost as annoying as a Cowboys or Steelers fan. Just about as annoying as a drunk Redskins fan at the beginning of the year yelling about being Super Bowl bound.

Why did I associate Caps fans to NFL fans? Because that’s what THEY understand. They’ve never come across a bunch of stupid Pens fan, all wearing Lemieux jerseys. Scratch that, it’s Crosby jerseys now-a-days. They never had to listen to some moron talk about how great Eric Lindros is. By the way, where the fuck is his? Retired, November 2007. Thanks Google. I could go on and on, but I won’t.

There seems to be a shit load of “Caps fans” that weren’t around six months ago.

Now I have to listen to idiots talk about how they think the Caps are just going to sweep the playoff. Ummm, that’s not how hockey works. The 2009-2010 Caps aren’t the 1992 USA Olympic Dream Team. If you sleep on another NHL team thinking your record proves your the best in the league, you’re gonna lose. Which is what happened Game 1 vs Montreal.

Then I hear, “They just need to come out strong this next game and score first.” Really, thanks for you in depth professional analyst of the keys to the game, Don Cherry. Why do you say that? Did you hear it on the radio? Did it sound smart then? Because it doesn’t now. What team says, “OK, we should just go out there and play soft for the first two periods. Let them score first. It doesn’t matter to us. I know we rather try to make a comeback from a four goal deficit. Then, and only then, we’ll have them right where we want them”.

I know you’re not a hockey fan. Stop acting like you know what you’re talking about. You just look stupid. Or, umm, more stupid. Case in point:

Some D-bag bragging to his friends: “We got umm, Green, Backstrom, ummm Semin. Ummm, Ovie of course.”
< Then I barge in.>
Me: “Who were their goalies last year?”
D-bag: “Varlamov and Theodore.”
Me: “Oh yeah. How long have they been on the team?”
D-bag: “For like, umm, 3 years.”
Me: “Oh. So. Varly wasn’t a rookie last year?”
D-bag: “Oh, i’m not sure, maybe he was.”
Me: “And last year wasn’t Theo’s first year in DC because they signed Huet the year before that and he wasn’t all that great.”

I don’t remember what he said after that, I just wanted to chime in to cease the conversation.

Yes, I get it. You wanna be apart of something special going on in the city. I get it. That’s fine. Enjoy watching it happen. Watching. Not talking. Watching. Just because someone had to explain what Icing is to you doesn’t make you an expert. Next time you find yourself out and about, possibly drinking, and you feel the need to blurt out a comment about hockey that you’ve only overheard by a person who gets paid to talk about sports, don’t. Save your energy. You’re definitely going to need it in September, when you start riding on the coat-tails of the past <insert your favorite NFL team here> Super Bowls. Unless you’re a Browns, Texans, Jags or Lions fan. No Super Bowls for you. One year!

In closing, the Capstronaut is stupid.