Worst Movie Scenes Ever
…more like BEST movie scenes ever.
[url=http://www.break.com/index/worst-movie-scenes-ever.html]http://www.break.com/index/worst-movie-scenes-ever.html[/url]
Archived entries for Humor
If Mr Ed is Your Co-Pilot
…then you don’t know how to use your brakes. Then again, some people brake for animals, some don’t.
Despair
I know we’ve seen these before, here are some good ones. And why did “Screenshot” make me tear up from laughing to hard?
My gallery: [url=http://www.redllama.net/index.php?name=coppermine&file=thumbnails&album=14]Despair[/url]
NFL Teams Meet Rap Songs
I think this list only gets better and better not worser and worser.
[url=http://www.holytaco.com/2008/01/31/nfl-teams-make-terrible-rap-songs/]NFL Teams Make Terrible Rap Songs[/url]
But I’m really sorry to say the Rams song, it’s just sooo gay, ga,y gay, gay. The comment was right when he said, “The only thing missing in this video is a backdrop of two dudes 69ing.”
Welp, you know what I always say, “just ram it!”
He Moved His Arms and Legs Today
So let me set this up for those who don’t follow football.
[quote="ESPN.com"]September 10, 2007
ORCHARD PARK, N.Y. — Kevin Everett sustained a “catastrophic” and life-threatening spinal-cord injury while trying to make a tackle during the Buffalo Bills’ season opener and is unlikely to walk again, the surgeon who operated on him said Monday.
“A best-case scenario is full recovery, but not likely,” orthopedic surgeon Andrew Cappuccino said. “I believe there will be some permanent neurologic deficit.”
Everett was hurt Sunday after he ducked his head while tackling the Denver Broncos’ Domenik Hixon during the second-half kickoff. Everett dropped face-first to the ground after his helmet hit Hixon high on the left shoulder and side of the helmet.[/quote]
And then…
[quote="ESPN.com"]December 24, 2007
ORCHARD PARK, N.Y. — For a few fleeting moments it seemed like nothing had changed in Kevin Everett’s life.
The 25-year-old tight end walked through the Buffalo Bills locker room on Sunday, greeting his teammates one by one, and made them all smile.
“He gave me a big hug,” said receiver Roscoe Parrish, who played with Everett in college at Miami. “Seeing how strong he is and where he’s at. It was a good feeling.”[/quote]
So, it’s a sad story that has a happy ending, no I mean people are happy, not given handjobs.
Then I saw this last night. There is no hell, but if there was, I’m not going there for laughing at this. It’s flippin’ funny.
[url=http://www.collegehumor.com/video:1777868]Sept. 28th, 2007 – Everett Has Feeling[/url]
Engrish Locks!
This is quite possibly my new favorite thing in the world!
[IMG]http://i6.photobucket.com/albums/y235/BadKrystal/intothetoilet.jpg[/IMG]
I got this from engrish.com, where you can find even more gems like it.
10 Craziest Excuses for Being Late to Work
No joke, these are real excuses employees have given their managers for being late to work, as provided by MSN
It’s been one of those mornings. You overslept, spilled coffee on your shirt, the kids wouldn’t wake up, and you left your gym bag at home. Late for work and need an excuse? You’re not alone.
Sixteen percent of workers say they arrive late to work at least once a week, according to a recent CareerBuilder.com survey. One-in-four of all workers (25 percent) admit to making up phony excuses to explain their tardiness.
Reasons for coming in late varied from forgetting something at home to feeling sick to enduring a long commute. Thirty-one percent of workers attributed their unpunctuality to traffic, 16 percent blamed falling back asleep and 8 percent cited getting their kids ready for school or day care as the main cause.
Here are the top 10 examples of the most unusual excuses employees offered their managers for arriving late to work:
1. Someone was following me, and I drove all around town trying to lose them.
2. My dog dialed 911, and the police wanted to question me about what “really” happened.
3. My girlfriend got mad and destroyed all of my undergarments.
4. I woke up and thought I was temporarily deaf.
5. I just wasn’t “feelin’ it” this morning.
6. I was up all night arguing with God.
7. A raccoon stole my work shoe off my porch.
8. I super-glued my eye thinking it was contact solution.
9. I was putting lotion on my face when my finger went up my nose causing a nose bleed.
10. A prostitute climbed into my car at a stop light, and I was afraid my wife would see her and think I was messing around… so I got out of the car.
As explanations vary, so do men and women when it comes to being late for work. Males are less prone to tardiness with 41 percent saying they’ve never been late for work in their current position compared to 37 percent of females. Men are also less likely to lie about why they’re late (22 percent) — while 28 percent of women won’t tell a fib, either.
Most of us make up excuses in fear of repercussions. Forty-four percent of hiring managers say they don’t care if their employees are late as long as their work is completed on time and with good quality — but others aren’t so lenient. In fact, one-in-five hiring managers say they would consider firing an employee if he/she arrives late two or three times in a given year. The key is to know your individual manager’s expectations and take the time to learn your employer’s culture and policies.
Think you’re being sly with the excuse you gave your boss? Guess again. While the majority of hiring managers don’t typically question the validity of the reasons provided, 27 percent say most of the time, they don’t believe the excuses.
Maybe I'm An Ass But…
…if you can watch these two videos without laughing*, I’ll give you a dollar.
[url=http://www.collegehumor.com/video:1759670]Times Square Breaking[/url] & [url=http://www.collegehumor.com/video:1761839]Trikes[/url]
* Laughing includes even smiling.
Just for fun. Imma add dis ones for all mah sparkling wiggles out dere.
[url=http://www.collegehumor.com/video:1742575]Sparkling Wiggles[/url]
Co-Workers Say The Darnest Things
[quote]D: Oh, did you hear, Bob Evans died.
B: The sausage guy?
D: No, you’re thinking of Jimmy Dean.
B: No, they both made sausages.
Me: Yea, only Bob Evans had the restaurants, though. They’re all over the place.
D: I knew about the restaurants. I just never saw him on TV telling me to eat his sausage.[/quote]
We all giggled. Hard.
Stupid Image Makes Me Laugh
…I guess it also hopes if you’ve ever played the Wii game.