redllama.net

Verizon Live Chat… Convenient or Stupid?

I had some trouble/quetion with my FiOS bill the other day. While I was logged on to MyVerizon I looked for some Live/Online help. After about 5-6 links that randomly took me to other links, I found it.

Chat Subject: FiOS Billing Question
Your Question: I was double charged for my FiOS Internet this month. $74 instead of $37.
A Verizon eCenter Representative will be with you shortly. Thank you. (17:19:20)
17:28:46 We apologize for the delay.You are next in the line. A representative will be with you shortly.

OK. Cool. I’ll just wait here and do other things, rather than pressing a phone to the side of my head, that usually cause sweaty ear syndrome. Plus there’s this nifty little countdown of what place I was in queue. Looks like Verizon has got it’s shit together. Can you hear me now? Ha, ha! Oh hum, lets continue, shall we?

Agent Patricia has joined. (17:28:56)
Patricia : Chat ID for this session is <some randomly generated number>. (17:28:56)

Sweet, an agent. Took almost ten minutes but it’s 5PM. I assume they might be a tad bit busy around this time of day. Annnnd, a minute rolls by. Not a peep. So, I give this pick-up line a whirl.

Boofer(17:30:13): hello?

Smooth aren’t I? Meh, I got nothing. Not until 20 more seconds later at least. Then I get this…

Patricia (17:30:33): Hello. Thank you for visiting our chat service. I will be happy to help you today. Do you have your account number please and I will be happy to check for you.

Well, that didn’t looked scripted. It must be Patricia’s first day on the job. Still getting use to that fancy keyboard. Damn you, QWERTY!

Boofer(17:30:50): <some stupid assigned number given to me a long time ago>
Patricia(17:32:41): One moment while I check for you.

Hey! She was paying attention this time. I mean, Hey! Tow minutes later she was paying attention this time.

Now, she’s going to “check for me”. Translation: she’s going to close out all those pesky windows that hide the desktop, since that’s the true way to navigate an operating system, and then double click that “billing program” icon like twelve times. If at first it doesn’t succeed, try, try again. And again. And again. That’s how computers work. If it looks like it’s doing nothing, you’re correct, it isn’t. Click, asset, repeat. I should write “Help Desk Support for Dummies”.

Looking back, I guess it all makes sense now. When people use to ask, “Wow, got enough windows open?” Umm, yea, I’m using them. It’s called multitasking. I listed it on my resume and everything. Well, I mean, it makes perfect sense to close out your browser window to get to the desktop to re-open your browser to view a different website. OK, Patricia’s back.

Patricia(17:35:56): I have checked your bills and last month you were billed for February 13th thru march 12. This month you were billed March 13th thru April 12th and April 13th thru May 12th. I can align you bill cycles so you will receive 30 billing at a time for future billing.
Patricia(17:36:33): In February you had no internet charges on your bill.

Honestly. I didn’t even bother to read or make sense of her first I.M. there. I hate doing mid month math. It even throws me when I’m watching Judge Judy and they talk about time frames. Just tell me the starting date and duration. I’ll do the math at a later date if necessary. Then I read her second I.M. I kinda remember getting away with something like that but I never bragged about it. So, I had to go double check her accusation.

Boofer(17:39:42): and I was charged twice in Jan?
Boofer(17:39:59): hence I wasnt charged in Feb

Oh snap! In your face… Pat! Wanna tell me one thing but TOTALLY not look at the month before… like I did… review all them facts, bitch!

Patricia(17:45:42): You need to contact the internet billing group at <some 800 number> so they can go over each bill with you and which bill cycle they billed you for on each bill.

Wait, what? I don’t wanna go over each bill with a fucking fine tooth comb. Nor, do I wanna call anyone. This is why I’m “Live Chat”ting with a Verizon representative. Cheese ‘n rice! So I politely say…

Boofer(17:47:43): perfect, i’m sorry this to difficult for you to handle, thanks for taking five minutes for each question to NOT help me.

I got no idea how she’d respond to this, I assumed with some pre-scripted bullshit. It’d be funny if she started some flame war with me.

Patricia(17:55:45): I am sorry I couldnt assist you any further. I had to review bills for several months to give the answers to you as I am not in the Internet billing group and had to manually go page and line by line thru each bill. The internet group are better able to assist you.
Patricia(17:55:56): Thank you for chatting with us. I hope I have resolved your reason for contacting us today. If you have any additional questions, please do not hesitate to contact us again. Please complete the survey at the conclusion of this chat. We appreciate your feedback.

Well, that was worth the 45 minutes. Granted I wasn’t on the phone at all but, I was under the impression I was going to be provided a service. You know, since I provide them with money once a month. Apparently more some months than others. And that line about “I am not in the Internet billing group“, then how the fuck did I get stuck chatting with you? The website asked me specifically, what department, what topic. Alos. funny thing about checking my own bill, I too had it in an itemized fashion. Making me read and shit. Besides, the Internet group would be better to assist me? Oh right, PDF format. Stupid me.

Don’t get me started on that “I hope I have resolved your reason for contacting us today” comment, ha! Yes, again, scripted but, you think you would have different closer if you were to of no use to anyone.

Obviously there’s a lesson to be learned today. Females aren’t good with numbers, and who let Patricia out of the kitchen this morning? No, no, I kid. I guess I meant, before starting an internet dialog with any help desk rep, you should A) confirm that they are familiar with said topic, and B) ask the question, “Are you slow or something?” You don’t wanna waste any precious company time waiting for nothing. Especially when it could be better spent perusing zany YouTube clips.

Bandwagon Caps Fans

April in DC doesn’t bring to much excitement to the city. Of course there’s the Cherry Blossoms. The weather is midly nice for a couple weeks before it heats up to 100*.

In years past, April hasn’t been referred to as a “sports month” in the District either. There’s no football going on, minus rumors. The Wizards usually aren’t in any post season contention. The Nationals, while still new to the area, aren’t topping the headlines themselves. The United are in just kicking off their season too but, no one will realize that until October.

And then there’s the Capitals. Who are pretty much always good for a Eastern Conference Quarterfinals loss ever since, well, since the Eastern Conference was formed. I’m used to them losing in the Patrick Division Semifinals.

Which brings me to my point. All you bandwagon Caps fans are annoying. Almost as annoying as a Cowboys or Steelers fan. Just about as annoying as a drunk Redskins fan at the beginning of the year yelling about being Super Bowl bound.

Why did I associate Caps fans to NFL fans? Because that’s what THEY understand. They’ve never come across a bunch of stupid Pens fan, all wearing Lemieux jerseys. Scratch that, it’s Crosby jerseys now-a-days. They never had to listen to some moron talk about how great Eric Lindros is. By the way, where the fuck is his? Retired, November 2007. Thanks Google. I could go on and on, but I won’t.

There seems to be a shit load of “Caps fans” that weren’t around six months ago.

Now I have to listen to idiots talk about how they think the Caps are just going to sweep the playoff. Ummm, that’s not how hockey works. The 2009-2010 Caps aren’t the 1992 USA Olympic Dream Team. If you sleep on another NHL team thinking your record proves your the best in the league, you’re gonna lose. Which is what happened Game 1 vs Montreal.

Then I hear, “They just need to come out strong this next game and score first.” Really, thanks for you in depth professional analyst of the keys to the game, Don Cherry. Why do you say that? Did you hear it on the radio? Did it sound smart then? Because it doesn’t now. What team says, “OK, we should just go out there and play soft for the first two periods. Let them score first. It doesn’t matter to us. I know we rather try to make a comeback from a four goal deficit. Then, and only then, we’ll have them right where we want them”.

I know you’re not a hockey fan. Stop acting like you know what you’re talking about. You just look stupid. Or, umm, more stupid. Case in point:

Some D-bag bragging to his friends: “We got umm, Green, Backstrom, ummm Semin. Ummm, Ovie of course.”
< Then I barge in.>
Me: “Who were their goalies last year?”
D-bag: “Varlamov and Theodore.”
Me: “Oh yeah. How long have they been on the team?”
D-bag: “For like, umm, 3 years.”
Me: “Oh. So. Varly wasn’t a rookie last year?”
D-bag: “Oh, i’m not sure, maybe he was.”
Me: “And last year wasn’t Theo’s first year in DC because they signed Huet the year before that and he wasn’t all that great.”

I don’t remember what he said after that, I just wanted to chime in to cease the conversation.

Yes, I get it. You wanna be apart of something special going on in the city. I get it. That’s fine. Enjoy watching it happen. Watching. Not talking. Watching. Just because someone had to explain what Icing is to you doesn’t make you an expert. Next time you find yourself out and about, possibly drinking, and you feel the need to blurt out a comment about hockey that you’ve only overheard by a person who gets paid to talk about sports, don’t. Save your energy. You’re definitely going to need it in September, when you start riding on the coat-tails of the past <insert your favorite NFL team here> Super Bowls. Unless you’re a Browns, Texans, Jags or Lions fan. No Super Bowls for you. One year!

In closing, the Capstronaut is stupid.

90’s Style Hockey Fights

Fights in the NHL have toned down a bit, well a lot since the early 90’s. This is the first fight in a long time that reminded me of the NHL of old. Notice how many times Cam Janssen waves off the refs. This isn’t a “oh-you-touched-our-best-player” fight. This is a set the tempo for the game. If you look, the fight starts after a minute into the game. The point is to say, “Hey, we don’t like you, and now I feel I need to punch your face until you understand that.” This is an example of how hockey fights should be. Although Cam could had kicked his ass just for the mere fact he’s Canadian with a long, stupid name; Pierre-Luc Letourneau-Leblond.

I saw this next video on St. Louis Game Time, a Blues fan site I didn’t link to because I know no one I know would ever care to read anything on that site. The clip is 4 minutes long but it’s TOTALLY worth it. If there’s anything you witness in your life, wait for the 1:18 time mark. Now THAT’s a hockey fight. That’s how I remember fights playing out when I was younger. And you never see bench clearing fights anymore, only because the penalties for jumping over the bench are a lot harsher these days.

One last video, just to tide you over before switch over to YouTube searching for “hockey fights”. This is the only reason I own a Fylers jersey. When everyone else wanted to “be like Mike”, I wanted to be like Ron… Hextall, not Jeremy. Enjoy.

Rock’em Sock’em Goailes!

Is Ovechkin Really #1?

I’m not hating on Ovechkin. I’m just asking a simple question. Does he currently exhibit the traits the greatest hockey player in the world. I just wanna go over some points that make me question that.

First off, I’m only going to mention Crosby now to tell you I’m not going to talk or compare him to Ovie. I’ve disliked the Penguins since the Patrick Division. It killed me to root for the Red Wings during the 2008–09 Stanley Cup finals. It was like cheering the Cowboys on the beat the Patriots. Lesser of the two evils. And I think Crosby is a vagina and wears blush… on purpose. Crybaby was just LUCKY enough to be on Pens and Canada teams that won. I giant case of right place, right time. Not skill. That being said.

Goal scoring. Can Alex score? Yes. Can he make it look easy? Yes. Is it Art Ross Trophy worthy? Comparably yes. Is it holy crap, record shattering, crazy amounts of goals. No. The single season record is 92 goals. And year it was Gretzky. 50+ goals in a regular season is top dog stats in the NHL but, to be an elite, no doubt about it, #1 player you need to have multiple 65+ seasons. That puts you in the same likes as Grekzty (92,87,73,71,62), Hull (86,72,70) and Lemieux(85,70,69,69). Well, yes Gretzky has played 22 seasons but his 92 goal season happened in his 4th year. It took Hull until his 2nd full season to jump on his three year 70+ season streak. It’s not how pretty the goal is. It’s about how many time you’ve rippled the twine. Squeaking out a few more that someone else in the league doesn’t scream #1 in the world. He needs to start breaking out some 70+ seasons.

Positioning. Alex plays left wing. Hull and Lemieux played right wing and Gretzky played center. You could try to argue that, if you didn’t know about hockey, that the center gets more touches/opportunities to score. While in theory that should be correct, Gretzky stood in his “office” all the time (behind the net, if you didn’t know). Plus, the setup plays created these days are just as elaborate that NBA plays. They fed Alex the puck for one timers all the time. I would like to see the weave implemented though. One thing I think that has helped Ovie out a lot, the 2005 rule saying the center line is no longer used to determine a two-line pass. Ironically that was put in place just in time for Alex to join the league and cherry pick all game long. You can’t tell me he doesn’t do it. He’s circles there, like a vulture, between the blue line and center line. I see it with my two eyes, you see it with your two eyes. You can’t deny it. And if you still feel the need to still deny it, PLEASE explain to me what kind of defense defends the neutral zone when the puck is in the corner boards. He’s getting the jump on breakaways, 1-on-1’s, 2-on-1’s. Leading to more goal scorer’s goals vs other leading goal player who only get their goals off tip-ins. If he doesn’t cherry pick, he’s just a fancy 25+ goal scorer, which is a league average forward.

Decision making. I’m not talking about when to shoot or pass. I’m talking about when you should throw out a leg to sneak a trip but accidentally go knee-to-knee with an opposing player and get suspended for 2 games. I’m talking about when you skate buy a dropped stick, and you KNOW it’s a penalty if you even touch it, but you tap it three feet away from the defender and get called for interference. I’m talking about feeling the need to make contact with another player 6 feet from the boards. I’m not saying to was a dirty hit, I’m saying it was unnecessary. Re-watch the play. If he had just passed the defender and gone to the corner, he thrown a big hit there and possibly won possession of the puck. I’m all about hitting. There should be more. The should be harder. The should have to replace the glass along the boards more often. Knowing when not to do something stupid is just not a thought process Ovie possesses.

Leadership. Ovie just had the “C” sewn on his jersey, only for the fact that the previous captain Chris Clark was traded away. I didn’t think his was the obvious choice for captain. I really didn’t think he was going to be named the next captain. He doesn’t really make other players better on the ice. He does draw a ton of attention and focus to himself allowing other teammates to play to their potential. But as for boosting everyone elses’ skills, that doesn’t happen. He kinda over shadows the skill set of others on the ice with him. Ovie goes out on suspension and the team plays like they don’t need him. Even the head coach Coach Bruce Boudreau said that Ovechkin’s style of play was at times “reckless”. He is like a bull in a china shop when he plays. Is that the leadership style that you want your captain to have? Is that the actions of a #1 player?

Role modeling. For example, Tiger. Best golfer in the world. Had is issues off the course. Still the best golfer though. My point is if you had a child playing golf, you’d like him to be like Tiger the golfer and not Tiger the person. All of Ovie antics and shenanigans have happened on the ice. Would you want you kid to play like Alex the hockey player? He’s not really a goon or a dirty player. Sure, he’s flashing and fun to watch but, his actions no make people question if he’s MVP worthy. Scoring a bunch of goals, winning the Cup and snagging MVP doesn’t make you #1. It obviously helps the argument but doesn’t solidify it.

I not making an argument that someone else is #1. I’m just saying that he’s maybe not #1 yet.

R.I.P. Whomever

Why do people all across the interwebings flock to any newly created threads to voice there option about someone whom has just past, and then end their post with “RIP “. It’s pretty fucking stupid.

As far as I know, this “afterlife” thing that all these church-goers have been raving about for years, doesn’t have access to the Internet. And if it did, you’d think they would slip that into “the good book”. You know, as a perk to do more gooder in life. Do they have dial-up access? You’d think someone on Earth would had noticed the 62 mile long telephone corder headed straight up to a cloud? Wait a second. A cloud? Is the Internet and “heaven” one in the same? Where all my DBA’s at!! No… I’m sure they’re two separate entities. They’d have to using Wi-Fi. 5G. I mean, it’s “heaven”. It’d have to be better then what we have. You’d assume they have dial-up in “hell”. 300 baud. Half-duplex.

Even if they did have the Internet in this “heaven” you speak off. Is it so boring that dead celebrities have nothing to do by Google themselves? I doubt it.

Basically it just shows that whoever types out “RIP” within their posts felt obligated to let YOU know that THEY’RE NOT put themselves first BY putting themselves first to SHOW that THEY DO put others first, just to show YOU that they “care” or were “raised properly”. Yep, I just typed that. And it’s really pisses me off that it’s that fucking backwards to have to explain it. But I see through your bullshit, your sticky web of “me, me, me”.

Let me put it this way, so we’re all clear. will never read what you posted to the Internet. They will never send you a thank-you note. It’s a little late to try and so respect and sympathy. They might had appreciated hearing that when they were alive. Stop trying to prove to us that you’re not selfish. You are, it’s OK, and we don’t care that you are.

The New Mississippi Rebel?

As reported by TMZ, the Ole Miss Rebels [read:University of Mississippi] had dumped their mascot to “update their image” [read:to not seem racist, anymore. or, as much.] The old mascot, “Colonel Reb” (unoffically named), looked like a cockier version of Colonel Sanders with a pimp cane. The school said they would back any decision made by the student body with coming up with a new mascot. So, as like any other student body would do, they picked Admiral Ackbar of Star Wars fame. It makes sense, since no one knows who Bhagat Singh or Rani Lakshmi Bai are. Yes, I Google searched for “famous rebels”.

Admiral Ackbar — the Supreme Commander of the Rebel Alliance fleet — is one step closer to becoming the new on-field mascot for the University of Mississippi.

Ole Miss is in the middle of a movement to replace their old mascot — Colonel Reb — after the school decided they wanted to update their image.

Tuesday, the students voted in favor of crowning a new mascot to represent Rebel Nation … and the favorite so far is none other than the most famous Mon Calamari in the entire universe.

Several pro-Ackbar websites have recently emerged — making the Admiral the heavy favorite. The University tells us the decision on the mascot is entirely in the hands of the student mascot committee. The University will hold a vote in the near future — we’ll keep you updated.

Coffee Pot Numbers, WTF?

Making some coffee the other morning, one question came to me. What do those numbers on the side of the coffee pot measure?

First you’d think it was servings. So, I did some 5th grade math, since I was slowly educated in Maryland. I filled the coffee pot up to the “4 line”, that’s 2 cups. I figured out a coffee mug filled, with room for cream & sugar fits 1 cup. Meaning, 2 cups = 2 servers. But why is there a fucking 4 on the side? It’s not 4 cups, it’s not four servings? Is it a ratio of scoops of coffee grinds to amount of water? If that’s the case, whats a proper coffee scope? Is it a measured amount? Is i just a spoon full? Those plastic spoons at work are smaller than normal metal spoons in your kitchen.

I’ve searched the Internet for an answer. I didn’t find one. Of the 1,340,000 web sites that were returned from my search, there was only one other person confused about the numbers. He/she wasn’t provided a solid answer. And yes, I check all 1,340,000 web sites. And no, he/she wasn’t a shemale, I just couldn’t tell the gender of the other inquisitive poster.

Did the off brand big-box-store coffee maker company just slap some arbitrary numbering system on the side of their pots to screw with us? Was it “two bits” for a “mug” of “muddy water” back in “olden times”? It’s a mystery that’ll take two chicks, a dog and a sweet van to solve.

Apparently, History isn’t so Boring

They used to use urine to tan animal skins, so families used to all pee in a pot & then once a day it was taken & sold to the tannery…….if you had to do this to survive, you were “Piss Poor.”
But worse than that were the really poor folk who couldn’t even afford to buy a pot……they “didn’t have a pot to piss in” & were the lowest of the low.

The next time you are washing your hands and complain because the water temperature isn’t just how you like it, think about how things used to be. Here are some facts about the 1500’s:

Most people got married in June because they took their yearly bath in May, and they still smelled pretty good by June.. However, since they were starting to smell . .. .. brides carried a bouquet of flowers to hide the body odor. Hence the custom today of carrying a bouquet when getting married.

Baths consisted of a big tub filled with hot water. The man of the house had the privilege of the nice clean water, then all the other sons and men, then the women and finally the children. Last of all the
babies. By then the water was so dirty you could actually lose someone in it. Hence the saying, “Don’t throw the baby out with the Bath water!”

Houses had thatched roofs-thick straw-piled high, with no wood underneath. It was the only place for animals to get warm, so all the cats and other small animals (mice, bugs) lived in the roof. When it rained it became slippery and sometimes the animals would slip and fall off the roof. Hence the saying “It’s raining cats and dogs.”

There was nothing to stop things from falling into the house. This posed a real problem in the bedroom where bugs and other droppings could mess up your nice clean bed. Hence, a bed with big posts and a sheet hung over the top afforded some protection. That’s how canopy beds came into existence.

The floor was dirt. Only the wealthy had something other than dirt. Hence the saying, “Dirt poor.” The wealthy had slate floors that would get slippery in the winter when wet, so they spread thresh (straw) on floor to help keep their footing. As the winter wore on, they added more thresh until, when you opened the door, it would all start slipping outside. A piece of wood was placed in the entrance-way. Hence: a thresh hold.

(Getting quite an education, aren’t you?)

In those old days, they cooked in the kitchen with a big kettle that always hung over the fire.. Every day they lit the fire and added things to the pot. They ate mostly vegetables and did not get much meat. They would eat the stew for dinner, leaving leftovers in the pot to get cold overnight and then start over the next day. Sometimes stew had food in it that had been there for quite a while.. Hence the rhyme: Peas porridge hot, peas porridge cold, peas porridge in the pot nine days old.

Sometimes they could obtain pork, which made them feel quite special. When visitors came over, they would hang up their bacon to show off. It was a sign of wealth that a man could, “bring home the bacon.” They would cut off a little to share with guests and would all sit around and chew the fat..

Those with money had plates made of pewter. Food with high acid content caused some of the lead to leach onto the food, causing lead poisoning death. This happened most often with tomatoes, so for the next 400 years or so, tomatoes were considered poisonous.

Bread was divided according to status. Workers got the burnt bottom of the loaf, the family got the middle, and guests got the top, or the upper crust.

Lead cups were used to drink ale or whisky. The combination would sometimes knock the imbibers out for a couple of days. Someone walking along the road would take them for dead and prepare them for burial. They were laid out on the kitchen table for a couple of days and the family would gather around and eat and drink and wait and see if they would wake up. Hence the custom of holding a wake.

England is old and small and the local folks started running out of places to bury people. So they would dig up coffins and would take the bones to a bone-house, and reuse the grave. When reopening these coffins, 1 out of 25 coffins were found to have scratch marks on the inside and they realized they had been burying people alive. So they would tie a string on the wrist of the corpse, lead it through the coffin and up through the ground and tie it to a bell. Someone would have to sit out in the graveyard all night (the graveyard shift.) to listen for the bell; thus, someone could be, saved by the bell or was considered a dead ringer….

Jack Daniels Fishing Trip

I finally got around to going fishing this morning but after a while I ran out of worms.

Then I saw a cottonmouth with a frog in his mouth, and frogs are good bass bait.

Knowing the snake couldn’t bite me with the frog in his mouth, I grabbed him right behind the head, took the frog and put it in my bait bucket.

Now the dilemma was how to release the snake without getting bit.

I grabbed my bottle of Jack Daniels and poured a little whiskey in its mouth.

His eyes rolled back, he went limp, I released him into the lake without incident, and carried on my fishing with the frog.

A little later, I felt a nudge on my foot.

There was that same snake with two frogs in his mouth.

Move Bitch, Move Out Da Way

As we all speak of time we have got pulled over by the police, George, a friend of mine, told me about a traffic stop that I couldn’t really believe. Not that I don’t trust him or his story, I just had to look it up myself.

As George said, he was on the highway going south on 395, just about to take the Manassas 234 exit. As he approached the exit he noticed two cops where up ahead, all lights on and had pulled over some other driver that most likely didn’t need to be bothered by the law. Just after he past these three cars on the side of the road and started taking the exit, the second cop left the traffic stop and pulled George over.

George was not drinking nor speeding. He was given a ticket for not changing lanes to the left as he past the cops on the side of the road. The cop also backed up his story with some bullshit about “feeling his car shake a bit” as George pasted.

I thought that was one of the dumbest tickets I’ve ever heard off. So, I researched it.

Turns out you can get a ticket in Virginia for “failing to yield to an emergency vehicle”, since 2002.

Section 46.2-921.1 of the Code of Virginia states:

§ 46.2-921.1. Drivers to yield right-of-way or reduce speed when approaching stationary emergency vehicles on highways; penalties.

The driver of any motor vehicle, upon approaching a stationary emergency vehicle, as defined in § 46.2-920, that is displaying a flashing, blinking, or alternating emergency light or lights as provided in §§ 46.2-1022, 46.2-1023, and 46.2-1024, shall (i) on a highway having at least four lanes, at least two of which are intended for traffic proceeding as the approaching vehicle, proceed with caution and, if reasonable, with due regard for safety and traffic conditions, yield the right-of-way by making a lane change into a lane not adjacent to that occupied by the stationary emergency vehicle or (ii) if changing lanes would be unreasonable or unsafe, proceed with due caution and maintain a safe speed for highway conditions.

Violation of any provision of this section shall constitute a Class 1 misdemeanor. If the violation resulted in damage to property of another person, the court may, in addition, order the suspension of the driver’s privilege to operate a motor vehicle for not more than one year. If the violation resulted in injury to another person, the court may, in addition to any other penalty imposed, order the suspension of the driver’s privilege to operate a motor vehicle for not more than two years. If the violation resulted in the death of another person, the court may, in addition to any other penalty imposed, order the suspension of the driver’s privilege to operate a motor vehicle for two years.

As I searched I found more and more stories about people being pulled over and surprised.

As the theNewspaper.com states:

Five years ago, the Virginia legislature made it a serious crime to drive past a police officer stopped on the side of the road without changing lanes. As a result, unsuspecting motorists — including those who are not speeding — can nonetheless be caught in a speed trap and face a first degree misdemeanor ticket that carries a fine of up to $2500. Despite the significant financial penalty involved, nearly three-quarters of all motorists have never heard of “move over” laws, according to a Virginia State Police news release issued in July.

Now, I haven’t read anything about outrageous fines and court fees. George didn’t mention anything like that in his story but, he did say while in court, the judge pretty much called him a moron for not knowing all the laws. Just so you reading know, Class 1 misdemeanor isn’t a “pay your ticket online” ticket, it’s a “welp, gotta get up early today for traffic court” ticket.

The jist of it is, if you see a cop on the side of the road, change lanes ASAP, or slow down a lot if you can’t safely move over. And what’s not to say that your actions could then create another unintended dangerous situation on the road? There’s one thing to say, “Hey, I’m working out here, move the fuck over!” vs “I’m just going to pull this car over in the most unsafe area I can find.” My point is made right here in this stupid traffic stop. As you were waiting for the obvious, did you not notice the extra four feet that could had pulled over, and still be on asphalt. Not to mention all the flat land off the road. This could all be simply solved if cops just stopped pulling people over. Then again, there would be no statewide income, resulting in my overly taxed cigarettes to now make me addicted to the lottery and scratch-offs.